Elegant Existentialist: Thoughts from a Therapist

 

 Une Larme Dans L'Ocean Une larme dans l’ocean My Grandfather  Taught me to speak French. Translates to, A teardrop in the Ocean Another Grandparent lost to 2020. My Grandpa took me to museums The Exploratorium  Modern Museum of Art Taught me how imagination Can spark an idea That can change the world. We went to the first  Cirque du Soleil In a fantastical tent  in San Jose Magic before  my Five year old eyes. He made sure this child Of teenage parents  Saw beauty in the world That couldn’t be seen from outside Her window looking out to the fields Where migrants picked strawberries And smells from a tallow plant Permeated the air. My Grandpa taught me  to be proud of who I am. Embrace my truth, Speak truth to power, In the darkest hour. We fall like shooting stars Disintegrating  from great heights. Raindrops in a bucket Held and collected Water molecules connected Rippling from the energy Of every new drop.  The sound of rain Tapping b...

 Raindrops Raindrops fall to the Earth Mirroring my tears. So many Grandparents and Elders Lost in one year.  Collective grief  in isolation. With loved ones dying. In overflowing ICUs. I. See. You.  Even though I can’t. We are forced to grieve alone. In bed and in our fuzzy pajamas To bring us comfort In the collapse. The rain reminds us  That God cries too. At least that’s what we were told When we were children Walking home in waist high water or playing in puddles either way we were left seeking  the warmth of home. My tears fall for my grandfather. Grateful I got to say my Goodbyes. Held his soft fragile hand in mine Locked all the details In my mind  Gave him one last hug Blanketing him with love To take on his journey above. Raindrops fall to the Earth.  written on January 2, 2021

A River Redemption In this time of hate and aggression I am protected revered,  will be resurrected. Blessed by the river that flows to redemption.  Our spirits are renewed as we look to the sky Our sins float away carried into a state of sweet surrender. Holding our hands up in the air as our oppressors point their guns to steal what little we have left so they can fatten  their bloated bodies which are cursed for killing  God’s creations.  Fated to drown their bloated bodies  will be sinking down.  My soul soars  as my body floats down the river  of redemption. 

Reflections of, the Shining Sun Sparkling diamonds Glisten over the sea Speaking to all, “Come back to me.” It pulls, it carries It rises and falls, Swelling  Like our hearts It always calls. Holding our secrets, Our memories made, Teen dream summers Along the ocean cascade. Beating with our hearts It always calls. Lifting the soul From the Earthly ground Surrounds us  we’re found. It holds our history Inhabits great mystery As it mirrors  the infinite quality of the cosmos. Written by Raquel Morris July 20, 2016

Jellyfish  What will life be when we cease to exist? Will jellyfish still swim through deep blue seas?  Will crickets still chirp their sweet songs in the night? Will there be anyone to marvel at the wonder of a star-filled sky pondering our part in the cosmos it’s more minuscule than we imagine men have such grandiose egos a self righteous view they’ve been possessive  since they were little boys smashing everything beautiful they could find in their tight, salty palm for others to marvel at their game of, Who Has the Most until there’s nothing left. What will life be as we cease to exist? 

Saint Junipero Serra Sometimes the darkness looms tall and too dark to see what’s in front of you is unknown the night is enveloped  with dread and anticipation about what you feel coming yet you must hold faith that you will not fall, instead you will be held you must keep looking up  to float above it all like the clouds lifted and in motion in constant dance with the cosmos just take a deep breath inhaling the fresh air of dusk in a time of Pandemic. 

My son turned Eight years old on the 23rd of February. We were going to go to the Boardwalk, but we turned around halfway there. He wanted to go home to make sure he closed his bedroom door, so our dog couldn't get to his new hamster, Snowball. It worked out though, we went to the beach as a family and had a beautiful day. I saw my son, just   shining under the sun. I just kept thinking, "My darling son, shine!" He has this big bright smile that I see so much of myself in, except he's more confident than I was at that age. He has a bravado mixed with humble silliness. It's in that confident silliness that I see much of my husband and his mom. They both have this wittiness and silly authenticity that I really admire. When I look in my son's eyes, I see the cosmic bonds of my family. The familiar tear-drop shape that all the Water-sign women have (my mom and my sister). Their eyes reveal the strong emotionality that lies within their spirit. I see that my...